Another stalwart of ‘Last of the Summer Wine‘ has died. Kathy Staff who played the infamous Nora Batty died on Saturday the 13th at the age of 80.

She played the character from the very first episode in 1973 until her last appearance in August.

The loss of Bill Owen (Compo) in 1999 was a big blow to the programme. To me, his chasing of Nora, and her chasing of him with a broom, brush, mop or whatever was at hand was the heart of the programme.

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He loves his wine!

1. Since my last report, your child has hit rock bottom and has started to dig.
2. I would not allow this student to breed.
3. Your child has delusions of adequacy.
4. Your child is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot.
5. Your son sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them.
6. The student has a “full six-pack” but lacks the plastic thing to hold it all together.
7. This child has been working with glue too much.
8. When your daughter’s IQ reaches 50, she should sell.
9. The gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn’t coming.
10. If this student were any more stupid, he’d have to be watered twice a week.
11. It’s impossible to believe the sperm that created this child beat out 1,000,000 others.
12. The wheel is turning but the hamster is dead.

Not including me of course!

I reckon it’s the most mis-spelt word on the internet!

For the record it’s: receive

The rule ‘ i before e except after c ‘ would cover it me thinks!

When you get an email from your bank asking you if you recieved their request for your login details be afraid … be very afraid!

A man is in bed with his wife when there’s a knock, knock on the door. He rolls over and looks at his clock. It’s half past three in the morning.

I will happily ignore that he thinks, and tries to go back to sleep.

However, a louder knock follows.
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Yeah right!

• Why isn’t the number 11 pronounced onety-one?

• If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea…does that mean that one out of five enjoys it?

• If people from Poland are called Poles, then why aren’t people from Holland called Holes?

• If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?

• Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist, but a person who drives a race car is not called a racist?

• If it’s true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for?