A Lidl degree …. what next?

A Dunnes degree?

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Amazing how many different expressions can be made up using the word shit!

Here goes:

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One of the pupils told me this joke today … thought I’d end the night with a grin!

Paddy the English man, Paddy the Scots man and Paddy the Irish man were dying of the thirst in the desert.

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A letter arrived to the school today addressed as follows:

F.A.O. Justin Cahir

Who the hell is Justin Cahir I asked? Have we been given a new teacher without being told?

When I opened the letter it all came back to me.

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Paddy died and went to heaven. As he stood in front of St. Peter at the Pearly Gates, he saw a huge wall of clocks behind him.

He asked, ‘What are all those clocks?’

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A Priest wanted to raise money for his church, and being told that there was a fortune in horse racing, he decided to purchase one and enter him in the races. However, at the local auction the going prices for horses was so steep that the Priest ended up buying a donkey instead. He figured that since he had it, he might as well go ahead and enter it in the races and to his surprise, the donkey came in third. The next day the racing form carried this headline:

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Moses, Jesus and a very old man were out golfing one fine day.

Moses drives his ball. It bounces off a tree into a water hazard. So he parts the water and knocks the ball onto the green.

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Lesson Number One
A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day. A small rabbit saw the crow, and asked him, “Can I also sit like you and do nothing all day long?” The crow answered: “Sure, why not.” So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the crow, and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

Moral of the story is: To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.

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