I’ve seen it all now …. tree stump worship on church grounds in Co. Limerick.

Hundreds of people are flocking to St. Mary’s Church grounds in Rathkeale, Co. Limerick to pray and touch a willow tree stump which people are claiming depicts an image of the Blessed Virgin Mary herself.

Candles have been lit, multiple rosaries recited and a 24 hour vigil has been mounted to ensure that nobody removes the offending tree trunk!

Last Monday, unsuspecting FAS workers (recognisable in their fluorscent yellow jackets,)  cut down the tree as its branches were overhanging a primary school (have to bring in the education system somewhere …. they’ll be blaming the Principal for the manifestations shortly) when one of the FAS workers had a revelation …. “Jesus, Look …. it’s herself …. yer wan …. the Virgin Mary”. (Last time they’ll allow a clinically recognised depressive on the FAS scheme).

30 minutes later the “Holy Joe Society” was out in force ….. jibbering, jabbering and mouthing all sorts on incantations.

The local priest is, apparently, quite sceptical about the whole thing …. he has claimed (apparently) …. “There’s nothing there … it’s just a tree. You can’t worship a tree”.

And he then said (apparently) …. “Don’t forget to contribute to the donation box!”

The gift shops in Rathkeale have noticed a surge in sales …. tree stump icons, plastic glowing crosses, FAS badges …. “I saw the Virgin Mary FIRST”.

The gift shop owner (who shall remain nameless), Seamus Horgan is reported to have said (apparently) that “people are looking for hope in these times and if they find it in a piece of wood then God knows it’s a good thing.”

A passing pensioner said he felt better having seen the stump.

Another said ’twas great …. it was getting the young people interested in the church again (albeit the church grounds).

One man, who travelled from West Cork (God help his head) prayed to the stump asking to be reunited with his ex-girlfriend.

Plans are at an advanced satge to have a glass case place around the wooded stump to protect it from the elements (and the Parish Priest who is away on holidays at the moment).

Ah shure ….. twil all work out grand in the end …. touch wood.